I am on cloud 9....Omg....I will write more later with details. I think my heart might melt from joy :)
remember, we're all a little mad here
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
I just wanna run
Wow. It has been a long damn day.
First Michael can't get here because no one would rent him a car. FML. So I don't know if we'll be able to spend time together tomorrow. I hope we can.
Then I went to the mall to get some new eye shadow. Well the woman who I always buy from had her kids there, so she told me to go say hi since I had never met them before, so I did. Her daughter is like 9 and her son is like 6. I would like to say before I continue that she should not have had her kids there while she was working. Anyways so I went and talked to them for a bit, I told them how they were much better at drawing than I was and ya know was just trying to be nice. Well he son wanted to cut a rubber band and I didn't want him to cut himself so I helped him. Well then he started to hit things with the rubber band and every time he kept getting closer to his face, worried he would get hurt I said, "he why are you beating the makeup that isn't very nice" smile and took it from him he didn't really seem to give a damn. I told him that Tinkerbell took it to use on her house in neverland. Well after a while he and his sister kept getting more and more mean. They were poking me and just being brats! Well I had put the rubber band in my moms purse. So when he finaly asked for it back I didn't have it because she had gone to the bathroom. Well when i couldn't stall anymore because he was getting upset it seemed I pretended to call Tinkerbell and told her I would come get it. So I walked away to get it and then gave it back to him after asking him to ask for it nicely since he was being rude and demanding to me, someone who is his elder, he asked nicely and I gave it back, smiled and then they started to be rude and call me mean and said I need to get out and there is the door so go. And I said well I need to get somethings from your mother. Trying to stay calm and understand these are kids and they obviousely have attitude problems. Well I talked to their mom and ended up getting eye liner. While she was ringing us up she said "Mary you're just too much to handle for 6 and 9 year olds" bla bla bla "you're not good with them". Talk about a freakin stab in the gut. So I ignored it and walked away. As mom and I were leaving we stoped to look at a purse and the next thing I know she is calling me back over there. So I say, "Did I forget something" as I walk over and go through a mental run of everything I had with me. Before I even finish my thought she says, "yeah you did" I gave her a confused look. She then says. "I think you owe my son an apology because you made him cry with how mean you were to him". I could not believe my ears at all. I didn't even know what to say I was in such shock. So I said, "Well I'm sorry if I upset you I was only trying to joke with you" then she goes into this long rant on how he asked for the rubber band many times before I gave it back and I told her well I didn't hear him ask for it before he did and if he did in fact ask for it I didn't hear him and that it wasn't my intention to be mean. Then she says some other things about how to them it was a big deal and they came and told her I was mean and then she said, "SO I told them I just need to get Mary out of here because she doesn't understand them". I could NOT believe what I had just heard. Not even a little. I said well I'm sorry I upset you to her son then said do you think I could have a hug, and she says "thats not a good idea" with an attitude. I was like WTF!? Whatever. Then I walked away. My mother over heard a little of the convo and said we would not be buying makeup from her again. That she just shot herself in the foot. We get into the car and try to leave and this woman comes outside and tries to flag us down I tell mom she says I don't care. Being a nice person I say well it would be rude to ignore her, so I open the door to the car and say, "we just got word on my grandma we have to go" (more on that later) so she said some bs that I didn't listen to because by this point I have lost all respect for her. Then I go to close the car door when shes done and she fucking slams it!!! WTF! Ug so I get home and start crying because I am so upset over her saying I wasn't good with kids. I mean does she have any idea who she is talking to!? I TAUGHT DANCE FOR GODS SAKE! I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE KIDS HERS WERE JUST THE BIGGEST PAINS IN THE ASSES EVER!
THEN I get home and dad ends up yelling at me because of the phone bill which wasn't all my fault. So I was already upset and then he pulls that and I end up crying even more.
PLUS my grandmother is in the hospital again so my mom might have to go to Florida asap. Which means I might have to follow after my babysitting gig this week.
The only bright side of my day is that Michael still has a chance of being able to see me and my friend Jacob called and reported the lady who yelled at me. Saying he and his wife tried to buy her some new make up but they couldn't talk to them because she was too busy yelling at another customer. Take that bitch. Ug. so I am going to take a nice bubble bath then get in bed with either music or a movie and a book. Maybe even write a little we'll see.
Remember, we're all a little mad here.
First Michael can't get here because no one would rent him a car. FML. So I don't know if we'll be able to spend time together tomorrow. I hope we can.
Then I went to the mall to get some new eye shadow. Well the woman who I always buy from had her kids there, so she told me to go say hi since I had never met them before, so I did. Her daughter is like 9 and her son is like 6. I would like to say before I continue that she should not have had her kids there while she was working. Anyways so I went and talked to them for a bit, I told them how they were much better at drawing than I was and ya know was just trying to be nice. Well he son wanted to cut a rubber band and I didn't want him to cut himself so I helped him. Well then he started to hit things with the rubber band and every time he kept getting closer to his face, worried he would get hurt I said, "he why are you beating the makeup that isn't very nice" smile and took it from him he didn't really seem to give a damn. I told him that Tinkerbell took it to use on her house in neverland. Well after a while he and his sister kept getting more and more mean. They were poking me and just being brats! Well I had put the rubber band in my moms purse. So when he finaly asked for it back I didn't have it because she had gone to the bathroom. Well when i couldn't stall anymore because he was getting upset it seemed I pretended to call Tinkerbell and told her I would come get it. So I walked away to get it and then gave it back to him after asking him to ask for it nicely since he was being rude and demanding to me, someone who is his elder, he asked nicely and I gave it back, smiled and then they started to be rude and call me mean and said I need to get out and there is the door so go. And I said well I need to get somethings from your mother. Trying to stay calm and understand these are kids and they obviousely have attitude problems. Well I talked to their mom and ended up getting eye liner. While she was ringing us up she said "Mary you're just too much to handle for 6 and 9 year olds" bla bla bla "you're not good with them". Talk about a freakin stab in the gut. So I ignored it and walked away. As mom and I were leaving we stoped to look at a purse and the next thing I know she is calling me back over there. So I say, "Did I forget something" as I walk over and go through a mental run of everything I had with me. Before I even finish my thought she says, "yeah you did" I gave her a confused look. She then says. "I think you owe my son an apology because you made him cry with how mean you were to him". I could not believe my ears at all. I didn't even know what to say I was in such shock. So I said, "Well I'm sorry if I upset you I was only trying to joke with you" then she goes into this long rant on how he asked for the rubber band many times before I gave it back and I told her well I didn't hear him ask for it before he did and if he did in fact ask for it I didn't hear him and that it wasn't my intention to be mean. Then she says some other things about how to them it was a big deal and they came and told her I was mean and then she said, "SO I told them I just need to get Mary out of here because she doesn't understand them". I could NOT believe what I had just heard. Not even a little. I said well I'm sorry I upset you to her son then said do you think I could have a hug, and she says "thats not a good idea" with an attitude. I was like WTF!? Whatever. Then I walked away. My mother over heard a little of the convo and said we would not be buying makeup from her again. That she just shot herself in the foot. We get into the car and try to leave and this woman comes outside and tries to flag us down I tell mom she says I don't care. Being a nice person I say well it would be rude to ignore her, so I open the door to the car and say, "we just got word on my grandma we have to go" (more on that later) so she said some bs that I didn't listen to because by this point I have lost all respect for her. Then I go to close the car door when shes done and she fucking slams it!!! WTF! Ug so I get home and start crying because I am so upset over her saying I wasn't good with kids. I mean does she have any idea who she is talking to!? I TAUGHT DANCE FOR GODS SAKE! I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE KIDS HERS WERE JUST THE BIGGEST PAINS IN THE ASSES EVER!
THEN I get home and dad ends up yelling at me because of the phone bill which wasn't all my fault. So I was already upset and then he pulls that and I end up crying even more.
PLUS my grandmother is in the hospital again so my mom might have to go to Florida asap. Which means I might have to follow after my babysitting gig this week.
The only bright side of my day is that Michael still has a chance of being able to see me and my friend Jacob called and reported the lady who yelled at me. Saying he and his wife tried to buy her some new make up but they couldn't talk to them because she was too busy yelling at another customer. Take that bitch. Ug. so I am going to take a nice bubble bath then get in bed with either music or a movie and a book. Maybe even write a little we'll see.
Remember, we're all a little mad here.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
sigh
LIGHTS - Saviour= wonderful music that I am listening to as I type...
I have been thinking a lot about my last post.... I am afraid...I don't want to have to say goodbye to all these people I know who are now in the Military...I don't want to have to worry that the next time I lay my eyes on them might be the last. that scares me so much. Sigh....I just...I don't know...I guess writing that over and over is pointless huh....Ok I'm done then...bye all...
and remember, We're all a little mad here.
I have been thinking a lot about my last post.... I am afraid...I don't want to have to say goodbye to all these people I know who are now in the Military...I don't want to have to worry that the next time I lay my eyes on them might be the last. that scares me so much. Sigh....I just...I don't know...I guess writing that over and over is pointless huh....Ok I'm done then...bye all...
and remember, We're all a little mad here.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Wrote on 5-21-10
5-21-10
Wow….so I didn’t think Jesse would be someone I was interested in…But I am…Wow…Idk what to do….I guess I should start from the top huh? Ok here we go.
Middle school ex- This is over. I mean like he didn’t want to tell me what was going on because he didn’t want to hurt me. Yeah sure whatever. So it’s over
Michael- We’re still complicated….He told me a few things that idk how to deal with….I mean yes I really like him, love him even…I just..I don’t know….Maybe sometimes how….intense he is about how he feels scares me…I just don’t know…I mean really that’s all I can say. I don’t know. He’ll be here soon I hope and maybe we can deal with whatever it is we are….And where we want to go…Or can go…
Jesse- Well….He was someone I never expected to like. I mean really never in a ZILLION years! He is quite a few things that he does that make me wanna yell at him….Like his inability to be ANYWHERE on time it seems. His bad smoking habit. His changing plans 6000000000 times in one hour. But then again…There are things I like about him….Like how silly he can be. How random he is. I don’t know….That should really be my theme, “Hi I’m Mary and I never know what I want”. Ug. But he is going back to Afghanistan soon. And I don’t know how I can deal with that. I mean with Michael I’ll have more time to prepare….Jesse. He will be gone in a little more than a week and that scares me. It scares me that so many people I love, never mind in what way I love them, are going to war and there is a good chance they won’t come back. That I’ll say goodbye to them as they leave and it could be the last time I ever see them. The last time they ever smile at me. Or tell me I’m crazy for calling myself fat. Or kick my ass at a fight in the pool. I mean thinking about it now I am starting to cry. I wish I could protect them, but they are going somewhere that I can’t keep them safe. I just don’t know what to do.
Here is what I do know:
-I want all my loved ones safe
-I want them all to come back alive and unharmed
-I want to be happy
-I want whoever it is that makes me happy to be able to be around…Which could be a high order for someone in the Army
-I want a family someday
That’s all I have for now…I hope to have answers soon. I guess I’ll find out. This blog has become more of a way for me to vent rather than about scrapbooking, which is the whole reason I started it lol. Go figure right!
Remember, we’re all a little mad here <3
Wow….so I didn’t think Jesse would be someone I was interested in…But I am…Wow…Idk what to do….I guess I should start from the top huh? Ok here we go.
Middle school ex- This is over. I mean like he didn’t want to tell me what was going on because he didn’t want to hurt me. Yeah sure whatever. So it’s over
Michael- We’re still complicated….He told me a few things that idk how to deal with….I mean yes I really like him, love him even…I just..I don’t know….Maybe sometimes how….intense he is about how he feels scares me…I just don’t know…I mean really that’s all I can say. I don’t know. He’ll be here soon I hope and maybe we can deal with whatever it is we are….And where we want to go…Or can go…
Jesse- Well….He was someone I never expected to like. I mean really never in a ZILLION years! He is quite a few things that he does that make me wanna yell at him….Like his inability to be ANYWHERE on time it seems. His bad smoking habit. His changing plans 6000000000 times in one hour. But then again…There are things I like about him….Like how silly he can be. How random he is. I don’t know….That should really be my theme, “Hi I’m Mary and I never know what I want”. Ug. But he is going back to Afghanistan soon. And I don’t know how I can deal with that. I mean with Michael I’ll have more time to prepare….Jesse. He will be gone in a little more than a week and that scares me. It scares me that so many people I love, never mind in what way I love them, are going to war and there is a good chance they won’t come back. That I’ll say goodbye to them as they leave and it could be the last time I ever see them. The last time they ever smile at me. Or tell me I’m crazy for calling myself fat. Or kick my ass at a fight in the pool. I mean thinking about it now I am starting to cry. I wish I could protect them, but they are going somewhere that I can’t keep them safe. I just don’t know what to do.
Here is what I do know:
-I want all my loved ones safe
-I want them all to come back alive and unharmed
-I want to be happy
-I want whoever it is that makes me happy to be able to be around…Which could be a high order for someone in the Army
-I want a family someday
That’s all I have for now…I hope to have answers soon. I guess I’ll find out. This blog has become more of a way for me to vent rather than about scrapbooking, which is the whole reason I started it lol. Go figure right!
Remember, we’re all a little mad here <3
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Money issues
Why is it that every time my family has a money problem they bitch at me? I just don't get it. Ug. And why is my dad such a jerk? I dono.
Went to the pool at like 11:30am and stayed there until like 5. I was hanging out with a friend of mine from middle school (not my ex). He just got back from Afghanistan for about two weeks. It was nice seeing him. We might go to a movie tonight we'll see. Anyways I'm not really in the mood to write I just needed to vent a little. waiting for Michael to call and Jesse about the movie (Jesse is the friend of mine lol). Write more later maybe
Oh and btw I am so sun burned I look purple :( lol oh well I'll live. thank god for pain free sun stuff. :)
Remember, we're all a little mad here :)
Went to the pool at like 11:30am and stayed there until like 5. I was hanging out with a friend of mine from middle school (not my ex). He just got back from Afghanistan for about two weeks. It was nice seeing him. We might go to a movie tonight we'll see. Anyways I'm not really in the mood to write I just needed to vent a little. waiting for Michael to call and Jesse about the movie (Jesse is the friend of mine lol). Write more later maybe
Oh and btw I am so sun burned I look purple :( lol oh well I'll live. thank god for pain free sun stuff. :)
Remember, we're all a little mad here :)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Music Saves
To start.....three cheers for five years - mayday parade
It has been a while since I wrote. I finished with my first year of college. It feels so weird. To know that in 3 years I will be done and on my own...I'm ready...I hope.
I feel really lost. I mean...UG!
Middle school ex is just.....Complicated to say the least lol. That really is all I know. Is that this is complicated and it makes life 100% harder when he won't open up to me and tell me how he feels about stuff. It's making me crazy!
Michael and I still fight a lot....It is also making me crazy. The plan is he'll be able to come see me May 28th-31st.....We'll see if it happens this time...I hope it does...I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I just...I don't know what to do and because I am who I am not knowing what to do makes me feel even more out of control than I already do which adds to my stress MAJORLY! I just wish I could close my eyes and everything would just stop. No more being lost over all this drama, no more not being able to sleep. Just for it to all stop. UG! Fml. And I just realized the story I was writing got left in FL in my storage unit. UG! I freaking hate this x1000000000000000.99
Remember we're all a little mad here.
It has been a while since I wrote. I finished with my first year of college. It feels so weird. To know that in 3 years I will be done and on my own...I'm ready...I hope.
I feel really lost. I mean...UG!
Middle school ex is just.....Complicated to say the least lol. That really is all I know. Is that this is complicated and it makes life 100% harder when he won't open up to me and tell me how he feels about stuff. It's making me crazy!
Michael and I still fight a lot....It is also making me crazy. The plan is he'll be able to come see me May 28th-31st.....We'll see if it happens this time...I hope it does...I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I just...I don't know what to do and because I am who I am not knowing what to do makes me feel even more out of control than I already do which adds to my stress MAJORLY! I just wish I could close my eyes and everything would just stop. No more being lost over all this drama, no more not being able to sleep. Just for it to all stop. UG! Fml. And I just realized the story I was writing got left in FL in my storage unit. UG! I freaking hate this x1000000000000000.99
Remember we're all a little mad here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
